The Great Invasion

Name: The Great Invasion
SKU: the-great-invasion
Price: 24.95 GBP
Availability: InStock

£24.95

On the flight home, the Harlorks discover that – quite by accident – they have overlooked one planet during their conquest of the galaxy: the Earth! There is only one thing to do – work overtime. However, the infernal humans just can seem to understand their ultimatum. After all attempts to explain the situation fail, the Harlorks resort to their indestructible planet annihilator and take off as quickly as they can. The humans have twenty-four hours to defuse the machine. And, there is one superhero who’s just right for the job…

Autor : Johan Kerk
Illustration: istockphoto.com/blackred
ca. 212 Pages

SKU: the-great-invasion Categories: Personalised Novels, Romane

Starting at 26.95 GBP
incl. VAT plus delivery costs

(Italic:will be replaced with your input)

Characters :

20 male and 2 female roles

Male main character (Part 1 +2)

Jim Waste, a superhero who actually does not have any superhuman powers; yet emerges time and again as a superhero from situations thanks to a combination of wit and luck; wears a trench coat, boots and a shirt with an emblem of prongs; adored by people and idolised by women; falls for the president's daughter Kelly, who kisses him a few times in "The Great Invasion"; is enchanted by the mayor's daughter Betty in "Jim Waste takes on Fatman", where he ends up being kissed again.

The name of the city (Part 2)

City in which 2nd part of the story takes place

The commander-in-chief of the alien flagship (Part 1)

Commander Wirdnikks, the commander-in-chief of the invading army of Harlorks; on his way back to the planet of Harlork in his flagship when his troops locate the Earth as an aim of conquest; reluctantly orders the invasion of the planet.

The commander of the alien advance troops (Part 1)

Subcommander Wokkwokk sends the advance troops to Earth to warn the inhabitants and to ask them to surrender.

An alien soldier (Part 1)

Mokk, an unreliable cadet who really does not want to be a soldier; is sent down to Earth alone by Wokkwokk; ends up in the practice of Dr. Freudless, who mistakes him to be a patient and immediately starts treating him; ultimately saves the earth from being destroyed by the Harlorks.

The supervisor of the first alien advance troop (Part 1)

Prefect Knarrkks, leads the advance troops to deliver an ultimatum to the humans but ends up in a deaf and dumb congress which is why the message is not noticed; small role.

The supervisor of the second alien advance troop (Part 1)

Prefect Nikksda, also leads the advance troops and ends up in a rock concert where the Harlorks are mistaken for the group "Kiss" and where the appearance of the aliens is mistaken for a stage show.

The daughter of American president (Part 1)

Kelly, the attractive daughter of the American president, who craves for attention; hostage in the prison rebellion; freed by Jim; flirts with Jim and introduces him as her new boyfriend in public; consoles herself with Jack Michaelson when Jim withdraws.

The commander of American forces (Part 1)

General Porkbay, commander of the American forces; summoned to end the prison rebellion; does not believe in resolving the conflict peacefully and wants to raid the prison forcefully.

The leader of the prison rebellion (Part 1)

Scrooge, leader of the prison rebellion; about two metres tall; a muscular chap.

Another rebelling prisoner (Part 1)

Shockner, fellow prisoner and the driving force behind the rebellion; a stockily built, bald man.

A psychiatrist (Part 1)

Dr. Siegfried Freudless, a psychiatrist who renders Mokk his patient in order to test his own radical therapy.

The director of an atomic power plant (part 1)

Director Burnes, head of an atomic power plant where Jim has been invited as guest of honour to the anniversary; this atomic power plant is to be blown up on Commander Wirdnikks's command.

A singer (Part 1)

Jack Michaelson, singer and guitarist of the rock band "Undead", whose best days are over and whose concert is stormed by the troops of Harlorks; becomes Kelly's boyfriend after Jim.

The mayor (Part 2)

William Weathers, mayor of Goddamn City; his office gives him the opportunity to indulge in one or the other amorous adventure preferably with secretaries; is worried about his re-election; helps in apprehending Fatman; almost lands in a barrel of hot oil while fighting with Fatman but is saved by Jim.

The daughter of the mayor (Part 2)

Betty Weathers, the attractive daughter of mayor Weathers; about twenty and a real beauty with long eyelashes and a pout; flirts with Jim but can't win him forever.

The police chief (Part 2)

Captain Trunk, chief of police of Goddamn City; tracks down Fatman together with the mayor and Jim.

The gangster boss (Part 2)

Al Melone, leader of a gang; also known as 'the brain' because he constantly makes perfidious plans; a bit old and rather fat; has a bald head which is criss-crossed by blue veins; uses a monocle and smokes cigars.

A member of the gang (Part 2)

Stiletto-Joe, a member of Al Melone's gang; wiry in stature, black, oily hair that is combed back; thin moustache; has a habit of playing with a clasp knife which gives him the nickname 'Stiletto-Joe'.

Another member of the gang (Part 2)

Gonzo, also a member of the gang; muscular chap with a heavily built face which is half childish; dim-witted.

The villain (Part 2)

Lex Liar, the former underworld boss; broad shoulders; bald-headed; was put behind bars by Fatman and swore to take revenge; builds the brainwave gun with which one's personality swings to the other extreme; finally falls victim to his own machine and turns into a champion of the good.

The professor (part 2)

Professor Gearloser, a brain researcher who works in a military research laboratory; small in stature; wears thick metal-rimmed glasses; discovers the reason for Fatman's wondrous transformation and plays a significant role in apprehending Lex Liar.

The prison director (Part 2)

Bubraker, the director of the state prison where Lex Liar was kept imprisoned before his escape; in his mid-forties.

Characters :

The following characters are not personalised

Male main character (Part 1 +2)

The name of the city (Part 2)

City in which 2nd part of the story takes place

The commander-in-chief of the alien flagship (Part 1)

The commander of the alien advance troops (Part 1)

Subcommander Wokkwokk sends the advance troops to Earth to warn the inhabitants and to ask them to surrender.

An alien soldier (Part 1)

The supervisor of the first alien advance troop (Part 1)

Prefect Knarrkks, leads the advance troops to deliver an ultimatum to the humans but ends up in a deaf and dumb congress which is why the message is not noticed; small role.

The supervisor of the second alien advance troop (Part 1)

The daughter of American president (Part 1)

The commander of American forces (Part 1)

General Porkbay, commander of the American forces; summoned to end the prison rebellion; does not believe in resolving the conflict peacefully and wants to raid the prison forcefully.

The leader of the prison rebellion (Part 1)

Scrooge, leader of the prison rebellion; about two metres tall; a muscular chap.

Another rebelling prisoner (Part 1)

Shockner, fellow prisoner and the driving force behind the rebellion; a stockily built, bald man.

A psychiatrist (Part 1)

Dr. Siegfried Freudless, a psychiatrist who renders Mokk his patient in order to test his own radical therapy.

The director of an atomic power plant (part 1)

Director Burnes, head of an atomic power plant where Jim has been invited as guest of honour to the anniversary; this atomic power plant is to be blown up on Commander Wirdnikks's command.

A singer (Part 1)

Jack Michaelson, singer and guitarist of the rock band "Undead", whose best days are over and whose concert is stormed by the troops of Harlorks; becomes Kelly's boyfriend after Jim.

The mayor (Part 2)

The daughter of the mayor (Part 2)

Betty Weathers, the attractive daughter of mayor Weathers; about twenty and a real beauty with long eyelashes and a pout; flirts with Jim but can't win him forever.

The police chief (Part 2)

Captain Trunk, chief of police of Goddamn City; tracks down Fatman together with the mayor and Jim.

The gangster boss (Part 2)

A member of the gang (Part 2)

Another member of the gang (Part 2)

Gonzo, also a member of the gang; muscular chap with a heavily built face which is half childish; dim-witted.

The villain (Part 2)

The professor (part 2)

The prison director (Part 2)

Bubraker, the director of the state prison where Lex Liar was kept imprisoned before his escape; in his mid-forties.

Characters :

The following characters are not personalised

Male main character (Part 1 +2)

The name of the city (Part 2)

City in which 2nd part of the story takes place

The commander-in-chief of the alien flagship (Part 1)

The commander of the alien advance troops (Part 1)

Subcommander Wokkwokk sends the advance troops to Earth to warn the inhabitants and to ask them to surrender.

An alien soldier (Part 1)

The supervisor of the first alien advance troop (Part 1)

Prefect Knarrkks, leads the advance troops to deliver an ultimatum to the humans but ends up in a deaf and dumb congress which is why the message is not noticed; small role.

The supervisor of the second alien advance troop (Part 1)

The daughter of American president (Part 1)

The commander of American forces (Part 1)

General Porkbay, commander of the American forces; summoned to end the prison rebellion; does not believe in resolving the conflict peacefully and wants to raid the prison forcefully.

The leader of the prison rebellion (Part 1)

Scrooge, leader of the prison rebellion; about two metres tall; a muscular chap.

Another rebelling prisoner (Part 1)

Shockner, fellow prisoner and the driving force behind the rebellion; a stockily built, bald man.

A psychiatrist (Part 1)

Dr. Siegfried Freudless, a psychiatrist who renders Mokk his patient in order to test his own radical therapy.

The director of an atomic power plant (part 1)

Director Burnes, head of an atomic power plant where Jim has been invited as guest of honour to the anniversary; this atomic power plant is to be blown up on Commander Wirdnikks's command.

A singer (Part 1)

Jack Michaelson, singer and guitarist of the rock band "Undead", whose best days are over and whose concert is stormed by the troops of Harlorks; becomes Kelly's boyfriend after Jim.

The mayor (Part 2)

The daughter of the mayor (Part 2)

Betty Weathers, the attractive daughter of mayor Weathers; about twenty and a real beauty with long eyelashes and a pout; flirts with Jim but can't win him forever.

The police chief (Part 2)

Captain Trunk, chief of police of Goddamn City; tracks down Fatman together with the mayor and Jim.

The gangster boss (Part 2)

A member of the gang (Part 2)

Another member of the gang (Part 2)

Gonzo, also a member of the gang; muscular chap with a heavily built face which is half childish; dim-witted.

The villain (Part 2)

The professor (part 2)

The prison director (Part 2)

Bubraker, the director of the state prison where Lex Liar was kept imprisoned before his escape; in his mid-forties.

(Italic:will be replaced with your input)

Abstract

Two science fiction stories ("The great invasion" and "Jim Waste takes on Fatman") in one volume - a humorous and entertaining narration with a male superhero, many villains - but no murders!

Settings

Earth (not quite as we perceive it): The city can be located somewhere in the United States of America in "Jim Waste takes on Fatman". The endless expanse of the universe: The flagship of a feared alien species, the Harlorks.

Time

Future

(Italic:will be replaced with your input)

Extract

Commander Wirdnikks stretched in his mud bath and grunted. He watched with satisfaction as the bubbles rose from the hot boiling mass, burst on the surface with a gentle plop and spread an acrid smell which caused a pricking sensation in the nose.
What a delight!
As Commander-in-chief of the flagship, he was the only person in the fifth tactical formation of the invasion fleet of the kingdom of Harlork who had his own mud bathtub. The senior officers had to share a couple of group bathrooms and for the many thousands of members of the invading forces, there was only the hope of wallowing in mud after returning back to their home world.
And that would soon be the case. The fleet was already on its way home.
In the last four grapfs (a grapf indicated the time taken by the Harlork world to revolve once around the sun), they had fought countless battles, subdued peoples and were victorious. Everyone on board was longing to finally land somewhere again, where they could spend their wages, watch buxom Harlork girls dancing on the tables and enjoy the fruits of labour. Lost in this thought, Commander Wirdnikks scratched the horny plates on his forehead for some time. He grabbed the cocktail glass next to the bathtub and allowed himself another sip of snail juice. He then leaned back and closed his eyes.
With a sigh, he blissfully imagined how he would step up to the high council after returning home and with a chest swollen with pride, proclaim that there was not a single inhabited planet in this part of the Galaxy which had not been subdued by them. And he dreamt about the honours and rewards which would be showered on him.
In his dreams, he heard the crackle of the communicator.
"Yes, what is it?"
"This is the locating centre.“ A voice said from the loudspeaker, "We have an unusual echo on the sensor."
"An echo on the sensor?" Wirdnikks shouted angrily, "And you are bothering me? Don't you know that I am taking a mud bath?"
"I know," was the reply, and one could hear a slight tremble in the voice. Everyone knew that the Commander could become furious if he was disturbed during his favourite activity, apart from conquering of course.
"But it is a very unusual echo, one that should not have been here at all."
"Hm," Wirdnikks snarled, "Inform the Subcommander Wokkwokk about it. He may grapple with it!"
Yes, that was a good idea, he secretly congratulated himself. Wokkwokk was on duty and was bored most of the time in the bridge anyway. Such a return flight could be a rather bleak affair.
Wirdnikks considered the issue closed and wanted to lean back when the voice of the locating officer came through again.
"I have already done that. And he strongly advised that I notify you. This is something that only you can decide."
"All right," Wirdnikks said and uttered a sigh, "What's it about?"
The sound of someone clearing his throat came from the speaker, "Commander, I think that you should come here and take a look yourself.”
Wirdnikks grunted angrily, "All right, I am coming. And as for you, I can only hope that you have not disturbed me for nothing!” He swung out of the tub.

Commander Wirdnikks's anger cooled down when he arrived at the locating centre and saw the little green dot flashing on one of the big screens. He stared at it in disbelief.
"And that is not a mistake,“ he asked, "or a sensor error?"
The locating officer shook his head, "No, impossible. We have checked everything."
Wokkwokk, who was also in the locating centre, pitched in, "Of course, that was the first thing I had them check," he reported zealously.
Wirdnikks ignored him. He could not stand busybodies, "There is absolutely no doubt?"
"No." The locating officer shook his head, "The display is real. Without doubt, this is a planet of Buärps class which hasn’t been conquered. In fact it is inhabited. Our long range sensors have ascertained it."
Wirdnikks uttered a harlorkic curse through his lips which meant as much as: If you were conceived by a real mother and not in a test tube, I would...
He didn’t like this small flashing dot one bit.
"How is it possible?" Wirdnikks asked, "I thought we conquered the entire region during our outward flight. How can there still be a planet which hasn’t been subdued?"
There was an embarrassing silence all round. No one dared to answer him. If one heard his test tube curse, it was an indication that Wirdnikks had been drinking his snail juice. One thoughtless word and you could end up scrubbing the Commander's mud bath for the rest of the flight, organising the advance troops or carrying out other tedious jobs.
"Well, maybe we have just overlooked it somehow," Wokkwokk said, shrugging his shoulders.
Wirdnikks looked at his Subcommander with a penetrating gaze and the veins on his forehead jutted beyond the bony plates.
"Overlooked?" he yelled, "Overlooked? We the Harlorks? The best, most capable and most feared invasion force in the entire universe?"
"Well, I only thought...“ Wokkwokk said meekly.
"No.“ Wirdnikks continued to yell, "Something like this doesn't happen to us! A Harlork does not make mistakes, most definitely not during a conquest campaign. This is clearly mentioned in our work contracts. Besides, what would posterity say about us someday? Perhaps: These were the Harlorks, the wildest, most merciless and the most efficient military force that ever existed in the known universe, unless of course, they have overlooked something!?"
There was silence again.
"This possibly happened to us,“ the locating officer said, mustering courage.
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe you remember? During our outward flight through this sector, there was a strong light storm which forced us to deviate considerably from the planned route."
Wirdnikks breathed heavily. Yes, he remembered, "Our sensors should have nevertheless located the planet."
"Theoretically, yes,” the locating officer agreed, "But didn't we have this overzealous officer who believed that he could improve the performance of the sensor phalanx many times over if we were not so fussy about sticking to the official operational protocols? I believe we flew through space for several days, blind as a plomboyanic mole, before we got the sensors to work again."
Wirdnikks nodded grimly. He remembered it, too. He had personally beamed the officer into space as a stern reminder of what would happen to those who developed their own thoughts or ideas.
"And you think this is the reason why we overlooked this little...“ he uttered the test tube curse again, "... planet?"
The locating officer nodded, "It seems likely to me."
"What do you suggest that we do now, Commander?" Wokkwokk asked, "The same invasion procedure as the previous time?"
"The same invasion procedure as every time?“ the locating officer added.
Wirdnikks didn’t show to anyone what he thought about: all the honours which awaited him back in Harlork and particularly the prospect of finally being able to bathe in real mud rather than in this tepid stuff which came out of the replication taps. Much as he loved his job as Commander of a conquest fleet, one more planet which was waiting to be conquered was the last thing he wanted. A thought began to take shape in his mind, for which he would have beamed himself into space a few minutes ago.
What difference does one planet more or one planet less make? The next Harlork fleet would pass by here in fifty grapfs at the earliest. If the error got noticed then, one could as well believe that the primitive civilisation on this planet had developed this far in the meantime.
Wirdnikks looked at the officer and pointed to the locating screen, "Are you one hundred per cent sure that this echo is real?"
"Well, one hundred per cent is nothing," the reply came, "But if we couple the sensors with those of the other ships, we can..."
"I didn't ask what we could do but whether the display could be incorrect under the circumstances," Wirdnikks interrupted.
The officer winced and instinctively adopted a posture, "That is very unlikely but yes, Commander, it could be possible."
Wirdnikks nodded satisfactorily "Well, how long will it take for this planet to go out of sensor range?"
"Eight to nine bloqus."
"I see. Well, then switch off the sensors now and check if there is an error for the next ten bloqus. And notify me if the planet still shows up on the display after switching on. Understood?"
The locating officer saluted, "Understood, Commander!"
Wirdnikks looked around. "Well, if that was all I can now go back to my bathtub."
"But, Commander," Wokkwokk stammered, "the sensors cannot pick up the planet at all after ten bloqus. And such a check will last at most two bloqus!"
Wirdnikks nodded good-naturedly, "Exactly."
"Yes, but... Then you want to...” Wokkwokk looked at his Commander in bewilderment, "You want to... I mean, you don’t want to..."
"I see that you have understood."
"But why?"
"Wokkwokk! In the last few grapfs I have really enjoyed conquering, depopulating or destroying every planet which we came across. But now all I want is to GO HOME! The high council is waiting to honour me. Now, go back to the bridge and ensure that there are no more disturbances for the rest of the flight back home."

Frequency of appearance

We have summarised all personalisation options for this book here. We also listed the Frequency of appearance for the respective details. You do not need to fill in all options – you can also use the defaults.

Male main character (Part 1 +2)

The first name of the hero is

429 x

The last name of the hero is

59 x

The hair colour of the hero is

1 x

The name of the city (Part 2)

The name of the city (Part 2) is

20 x

The commander-in-chief of the alien flagship (Part 1)

The name of the commander (male) is

80 x

The commander of the alien advance troops (Part 1)

The name of the subcommander (male) is

58 x

An alien soldier (Part 1)

The name of the unreliable cadet (male) is

114 x

The supervisor of the first alien advance troop (Part 1)

The first prefect (male) is called

4 x

The supervisor of the second alien advance troop (Part 1)

The second prefect (male) is called

3 x

The daughter of American president (Part 1)

The first name of the president's daughter is

24 x

The commander of American forces (Part 1)

The last name of the general (male) is

41 x

The leader of the prison rebellion (Part 1)

The last name of the first prisoners (male) is

18 x

Another rebelling prisoner (Part 1)

The last name of the second prisoner (male) is

16 x

A psychiatrist (Part 1)

The first name of the psychiatrist (male) is

2 x

The last name of the psychiatrist (male) is

26 x

The director of an atomic power plant (part 1)

The last name of the director (male) is

5 x

A singer (Part 1)

The first name of the singer (male) is

3 x

The last name of the singer (male) is

7 x

The name of the rock band is

4 x

The mayor (Part 2)

The first name of the mayor (male) is

7 x

The last name of the mayor and his daughter is

92 x

The daughter of the mayor (Part 2)

The first name of the mayor's daughter is

33 x

The hair colour of the mayor's daughter is

6 x

The police chief (Part 2)

The last name of the police chief (male) is

103 x

The gangster boss (Part 2)

The first name of the gangster boss (male) is

17 x

The last name of the gangster boss (male) is

30 x

A member of the gang (Part 2)

The first name of the gang member (male) is (Stiletto-)

32 x

Another member of the gang (Part 2)

The first name of the slow-witted gang member (male) is

23 x

The villain (Part 2)

The first name of the villain (male) is

77 x

The last name of the villain (male) is

23 x

The professor (part 2)

The last name of the professor (male) is

22 x

The prison director (Part 2)

The last name of the prison director (male) is

5 x

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